For many people the expectations around Christmas and the end of year festivities brings anxiety and dread. This can be for many reasons including missing family members, overwork, lack of funds, illness and so on. The loneliness single people feel is often cited as a cause for depression, but again so is the loneliness others feel when they don’t enjoy the company of those around them. You can be lonelier in an unhappy relationship than actually being on your own!
We have grown up conditioned to expect that the holiday period is some Dickensian happy scene with a perfect family sitting around a sumptuous table with everyone getting on well. The reality is that very often the woman of the house (and yes it is often the woman) is exhausted by having organised everything from gift choices and purchases to shopping and cooking for the friends and family who have to be dragged aways from their screens to look up and notice what they are eating. This doesn’t include the worry about the vegans who will be guests or the meat eaters who might not like the vegan offerings! This is also before alcohol is thrown onto the fire of misery! Who doesn’t remember a spectacular row and family fallouts over a few extra glasses?
Whatever kind of end of year you’re planning, it’ll be better if you let go of what you can. You can’t be in control of all the eventualities. Most of it doesn’t really matter does it?
Make it a celebration of Letting Go. Let go of the things that didn’t work out as you’d hoped. Release your expectations and emotions. The world won’t be a better place because you hung on to something that no longer served you will it? When you die you won’t be remembered for the unaffordable champagne you went into debt over, or the beef wellington that had a soggy bottom? You’ll be remembered for the kindness and love that you showed. Just being the best version of yourself. You will feel a lot better if you lower your expectations and recognise that it isn’t your job to make sure people have a great time. This pressure has such a negative impact on your own health. Why do you think so many people feel unwell over the Christmas period? The pressures of social media have a lot to answer for!
Traditionally Midwinter and the Winter Solstice were times to be quiet and reflective – to celebrate the returning of the light on 21st December. Maybe to have a feast with friends and family with what was available/ left from the harvest and keep warm in the cold times.
This year do something different. Look after YOU! The best gift you can give yourself is to take care of yourself. Taking occasional walks and watching how much you eat and drink will give you interest on your own ‘energy account’! Spend time off screen and notice all the positive things around you. Stroke the cat or walk the dog! Whatever has happened this year is gone, but you can find things – however small – to be grateful for. Put down the unwanted things that you acquired in 2024 and look forward positively. The PRESENT is the gift.